I know I have been talking about this forever, I FINALLY made the appointment to get it done! D is so excited (sarcasm)! Let me back up to what REALLY led me to make the appointments for him. We were talking the other day about just life in general, he gets all serious and asks me, "Do you think we are ever going to have a baby?" Ok, the tears well up in my eyes, thankfully I am folding laundry so my back is to him so he doesn't see. So, I just tell him I don't know. It's the only answer I have. I did go on to say that it truly depends on how far we want to go to make this happen. He told me that he thought we would go all the way to the "test tube". I cringed at the wording, but hey, at least he is willing to go through with whatever we need to do.
That leads me to making the appointment. My Ob/Gyn had given me an order for this a year ago. I know, I know...I guess I wasn't ready. Anyway, the place he had to go was about a 45 minute car ride with zero traffic so we decided we would see if we could find a lab closer so he could do the sample at home and take it in. My doctor also gave me the name of a Urologist because D was having some trouble at one point, which luckily took care of itself. So I called the uro to see if they could see us since his office was much closer than the other lab. The first lady I talked to was no help and transferred me to the next lady. She was super nice, but no help. Lady 2 transferred me to lady 3. I am pretty sure I have a girl crush on lady 3. She was witty, smart and took the time to get me through this drama. When I asked about the semen analysis, she said they use the same lab as my OB/Gyn sooooo we are not able to get to a closer lab, so D has to provide the his sample in the office. I am not sure how that is going to go. I cannot go with him since I have to work. Should be fun!
I have to say this, it was REALLY tough to make the call to schedule this appointment. I am not sure why it was so much harder to make this one than all the appointments for me. I think what I am going to say is going to come out all wrong so bear with me. I think if I am the cause of our infertility, then fine, I can deal with it. I feel like I want this more than D, even though I KNOW he wants a baby too. But if it is D, I don't think he will be able to forgive himself and constantly beat himself up over it. I won't hold it against him, but he will. I don't think he will hold it against me if it is me. What a tricky place this is to be in.
When my husband went for his first one we were terrified and unfortunately we had good reason to be as his results came back not so hot. He has since had 4 more and you're right they beat themselves up for it, but eventually the shock wears off and you figure out how to deal with it and move on. It may not seem this way, but it is better to know and deal with it then be left wondering and wasting precious time. Hoping the results come back fine and you can just cross yet another test off the list!! Good luck!!
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