So I have been thinking. That is always a scary thing but I find myself doing it occasionally. I have been doing some soul searching really to try to decide what we need to do about the infertility thing. I haven't come up with a plan yet, but I did talk to D about it a little bit. I told him that the doctor gave us a referral but I didn't know what I wanted to do with it. It is going to be super expensive for us since we are out of pocket. I think I am going to call for a consultation and go from there. It won't cost us THAT much for an office visit, right?! I thought I would also talk to them about being OOP and see what they can offer. In the meantime, we will continue to pay down debt.
Now for the soul searching. I have been thinking and praying about having a baby. Is this something I really WANT or is this something I just think I SHOULD do? I don't know anymore. I know originally I started out wanting it, but as time has gone by, I am beginning to wonder. I am wondering if I am going down this path for the right or wrong reasons. I love children, obviously, I work with them for a living. But I also love my life. I like being footloose and fancy free. I know I would be ecstatic if we got PG and had a baby. I know it would be a tremendous adjustment, but it would be great! I have also been looking at the other side of things too since being childless may ultimately be in our future. Is that something I would be ok with? I know I am using I a lot, I think D wants kids because I want kids so I feel very responsible for these decisions. I think he would be a great dad, but I think he would be fine never having kids. I don't know that he would feel the void that I think I might feel if we are childless.
So I suppose these are our next steps:
1. Do not worry, pray about everything
2. Call for a consult
3. Go to the consult
4. Pay down debt
5. Make the most of life as we know it!